"Jane, i say to you what i always say when things cannot be altered : count your blessings."

Hello! This will be the start of non-fiction challenge week first post! Yep guys! The next post will be also a non-fiction challenge series! Oops! i did it again! I made too much series in this blog, but what can i say? i just love to classified stuff, clustering it in organized sections. Yes, thanks to OCD.

Anyway, this series will be the series that obviously, me reading the non-fiction books, talking how i encounter with the book, what i expect and what i got from reading it. And of course, the verdict in the end for the rate of the book as i always do in every book review. And without further ado, let's dive in!

The Encounter

I first know this book because i watched the movie first. It has been a normal stage of me finding a non-fiction book by watching the movie adaptation of it first. So how i get into the book? Get ready for the going-in-the-spiral kind of scene. So I watched the movie because i know (a super a little bit) of a genius called Stephen Hawking who sit in the chair complete with computer, with his physical disability.

The movie itself was released in 2014 called The Theory of Everything, which starring Eddie Redmayne who grab my attention when i watch Jupiter Ascending, i think his acting in that movie was superb. Of course i watched the Jupiter Ascending first then The Theory of Everything years later because i obviously love fantasy movie more than based on true story kind of movie at that time (I still do love fantasy and sci-fi movie more than other genre, but i love watch movie based on true story lately).

What I Expected

By the movie, i watched how Stephen the man with brilliant mind, suffering from the early stage of his motor neuron disease, married with Jane, have lots of baby, then Jane fall in love with another man but it didn't work out, then the marriage end when Stephen decided that he want to live with Elaine his personal nurse. 

"Intellectually Stephen was a towering giant who always insisted on his own infallibility and to whose genius i would always defer; bodily he was as helpless and as dependent as either of the children had been when newborn."

I was expecting the book would explain much more than the movie about his struggle for the disease, how he accomplish his theory and works for years and years after the doctor said he will only live for 2 years, yet he's still going strong. By the time movie released, he's still alive which i would say that's a big accomplishment.

What I Actually Got

 I read the book back in 2018 right after i watched the movie. I read few chapters before i put it down. Decided that i must finish all book i've started, in December i read most of all the book that i've start but yet unfinished. I got to say i struggled a lot while reading the first few chapter because i already know the ending of the book, which is Stephen divorcing Jane in the end, so all the struggle that i read in the first few chapter made me just think, why tho, after this all struggle, why divorce anyway? Feels like the struggles just come for nothing in the end.

"I needed to cling to whatever rays of hope i could find and maintain sufficient faith for the two of us if any good were to come of our sad plight."

The story start with the meeting of Jane and Stephen, leads to more dates. Knowing the disease that Stephen has, Jane knows what she's facing, the difference i got from the movie is that Stephen here in the book doesn't really want to talk about his disease.  Got married, struggling because Stephen just become more and more physically incapable of simple things.

With baby also coming along Jane just torn into two parts. Trying to catch up Robert (their first son) who run here and there fast, but with Stephen in her side struggling even to walk she just can't. The struggles continues when Robert got sick because of digesting a medicine syrup early in the morning while Jane is still sleeping. 

"I was shocked to remember what i had left Stephen alone in the house, scarcely able to look after himself. Where was i most needed - here in hospital with my comatose infant son, or at home with my disabled husband who, without my help, might fall or hurt himself or choke?"

Stephen family doesn't really help Jane for this illness, while Jane's family constantly babysitting their children when Jane must accompany Stephen for his work in other city or country. When the third child was born, Stephen's mother confirm whether the baby is Stephen's or Jonathan's (the man that helping a lot for Stephen's family, the one that Jane fall in love to).

"You see, we never really liked you, Jane, you do not fit into our family" - Isobel

 The Hawking of course give Jane some advise for Stephen's health by saying that there's some organization in America that willing to try to find cure for Stephen, but in order to do it Stephen must move to America, which become the problem because Jane definitely can't left the children in UK while nursing Stephen. With help of her father who sending the letter to Stephen's parents to asking them accompany Stephen instead because Jane can't leave the children, they end up asking the Organization came to UK instead of accompanying Stephen to US. 

In the almost near to death stage, Stephen was almost lost his life because he can't really breath without the help of the ventilator. Jane save his life by asking the doctor to save him, tho must doing the procedure that made Stephen lost her voice, because of that, and sulking, not talking to Jane after that.

"As Stephen recovered his power of speech, i became nervously withdrawn again, unsure of myself and so uncertain of my opinions that i ceased to voice them, as much the victim of psychological pressure as Stephen was the victim of illness."

With the help of the friends, finally Stephen can talk with the help of the computer that attached to his chair. Yet he's back again be the superior in the family, and left Jane lost mostly in her mental health.  The computer helps him also to write another book which become the a big hit called A Brief History of Time. Their family become famous not just because of how genius Stephen Hawking is, but also how miracle just happened by how long he can survive such disease. 

"Our priorities were diverging drastically. Mine was the preservation of the sancity of the home and the privacy of our family life [...] Stephen was, for all his fame, but one member of a family where no one person had the right to be more important than any other"

Of course we come to see why now that they divorce in the end, Jane is trying to balance everything, yet Stephen just being him, love the spotlight. I come to see this man as how mostly man can be, despite of his disability, he's still a man with his pride.  

"it seemed that my entire existence and the structure on which it rested were crumbling away. My personal identity, which i had desperately tried to construct over the year from all the disparate fragments - has been shattered. I was alone and without shelter in the midst of a private war.

By the end of this book i become more and more asking the value of being a woman. Is it bad for you, who are a wife, to try to balance your mental health by doing what you want to do, which in Jane case to sing in choir instead of being the wife who devoted to her husband, learning nursery so she can professionally take care of Stephen (which what Stephen's family wanted)?

Is it bad to be Jane who want a privacy for her family, her children, or is she not being supportive as a wife for her husband's work that already bought the home, the living, the income in the family?

Is Stephen being such a prick for wanting a person who devoted her life 24/7 for him who is incapable in all daily day to day basis activity?

The movie, like i said before, is beautifully played, while the book is brutally honest. The divorce didn't came out that easy, and ironically it's in their 25th year anniversary when Stephen decided that he want a divorce. Maybe this book only her point of view, her way to made people understand her side of story, maybe we should know Stephen's POV but i still think her as a good wife no matter how much people say bad things to her.

My Verdict

I would say i struggled a lot in first few chapter because i hate how being sappy Jane is, kind of i'm kind of miserable character. But by the end of the book i can relate her feelings for being the one who struggled a lot to try balancing between her sanity and also become a good wife and mother for her family. I gave it Uh-Yeah (go to my rating system here if you don't get what it means) for the book because it left me think a lot after i finish it. 

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